“I don’t like Donald because I can’t understand him.”
“Why do you even like Donald? All he ever does is get angry.”
“He’s so mean all the time!”
Because the little shitlord never heals you when you actually need him to.
New York-based Japanese designer Nao Tamura has just presented a beautiful, new collection of dishes inspired by cherry leaves. Debuting at the last Salone Satellite, part of Milan’s furniture fair for up-and-comers, the silicone kitchenware is perfect for anyone who enjoys a bit of nature indoors. The dishes can be rolled up, used in the microwave or oven, and is dishwasher safe.
HOW TO BECOME A GODDAMN MAGICIAN
1. OWN A TABLET PEN
2. PUT IT DOWN FOR TEN SECONDS
3. ABRACADABRA WHERE THE FUCK DID IT GO
never have I laughed so hard
Disclaimer: This is not my own idea; I got the tip from the lovely Elentari-liv, who was kind enough to share her technique with me. This is only showing the basics I’ve used to knit the scales, not how to make any certain piece.
Also, keep in mind that I’m still a beginner at knitting. I’ve been doing it for approximately two weeks.
What you’ll need:
- circular knitting needles
- small scales
You’ll probably want to choose a yarn close to your scale colour, or one that complements it (I used a contrasting one here to make things easier to show). You may have to experiment a bit with the yarn gauge and size of the needles. I ended up using gauge three yarn and size six needles after some testing. Larger needles widened the gap between scales, so that the yarn was visible in between, which I didn’t want, and thicker yarn made the scales stick out too much as opposed to hanging. It looked like I was knitting a very ruffled dragon.
Scales can be purchased from The Ring Lord, with multiple choices of colour and material. I’ve experimented with both aluminum and steel; the steel seems to hang better because of its weight, but it all depends on what you need for your project!
(I’m putting the actual process under a read more because I do have a lot of photos.)
I’m gonna go ahead and put this under the resources tag for reenactors, cosplayers, Rennies and SCA-ers!
♫ it’s going down, i’m yelling Simba ♫
IT’S BEEN 20 YEARS
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS BEEN 20 YEARS
oh my god
comment from a person on youtube whose name i don’t remember.
this is how you make “gay jokes” folks
having two parents of any gender would suck because when u need one of them you’d be like “mom” and the wrong one will reply and you have to go “not you the OTHER one” and thats why if i marry a girl and we have kids she can be mom and i will be optimus prime
If an intruder ever comes to fucking murder you. You throw your mother fucking head back pull your arms in weird shapes and whip your head forward again and say the anti crist has awoken whilst smiling the biggest smile you have ever made. no smart person would ever fuck around with you if you did that.
STOP REBLOGGING THIS PLEASE ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFFFEEE
I decided I needed to make my own advice/spirit animal.
I call him Advice-o-lantern.
THIS IS MY LIFE OMFG
I’m not saying this describes me…but only because I don’t want to incriminate myself.
yeah your wings are pretty fukkin rad i really need to learn from you on this subject tbh because mine are schiesse
overly simplified method: draw red zigzag first
important structure reference for when you’re actually putting the feathers on:
i mostly cheat and just scribble so much you cant see me fucking up the actual feathers but yeah im lazy
Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:
A fucking fork?
I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.
People eat burritos with forks?
God is sorry he made us.
I always need this on my blog.
I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning.
i would take naps in forests every day if bugs didnt exist